Recession and buttox branding!

Whilst in the gripe of economic recession, job losses and the worst time to expect growth, we still have things to smile about.


A write up in the paper yesterday really made me smile. A very 'clever' person in Swaziland suggested all HIV positive people be marked on their buttox informing potential sexual partners of possible infection. Needless to say, this created such an outcry that the poor man had to appologise. Fundamentally his idea is not half bad, but gosh, branding human folk on the buttox is degrading.


Unfortunately, human rights outweigh any persons right to know that his/her partner is infected with HIV. Is this a good thing? No I don't think so, but I don't make legislation. We already saw that politicians in South Africa have an idiotic approach towards prevention of the sickness anyway. In the light of denial that HIV causes AIDS, taking a shower as the miracle prevention, eating beetroot and hands full of other crappy ideas, the suggestion of forced disclosure through branding sounds like a good idea. This might just stunt spreading of this epidemic.




On the lighter side: how will it be done? What will the mark consist of? For instance, should the letter 'H' be used, we might find that the 'branded' one will be unable to take nude tans on the beach. The rescue helicopter might just see that arse as the helipad.

How will this be implemented? Imagine: 'OK! You have HIV, please turn around so I can burn a notice on your behind' ?

Also, if you have sex with anyone in the future, you will have to approach the situation from the backside first. An unbranded buttox will ensure safe sex, or will it?

Will the notice be available in all 11 official languages, or will it just be a general mark of the beast? I don't think this whole idea will ever fly, but the potential comic material is endless.



Our commander and chief, Zuma, has yet another challenge: who actually is South Africa's official first lady? There are at least three contending for the position... what to do? Maybe we must have First Lady Cape Town, First Lady Pretoria and First Lady Bloemfontein. All the major cities then can have an official residence for the Provincial First Lady. I can't imagine in my wildest dreams what the official residence of the President would be like with three Mrs Zuma's trying to run the ship. What will we eat, what will we drink, who will be the lucky one on Mondays to have carnal knowledge with the president?
I have sympathy Mr President. Good luck running the country and the husband to three wives.
Life's a bitch and then if you are the President you get the lucky opportunity to marry three.